Why There Is No Shame in Asking for Help

Overwhelmed mom accepting help.

Historically, men have been typecast as headstrong providers, known for refusing to ask for directions on the road, while women have been stereotyped as nurturing caregivers expected to shoulder the domestic burden of the nuclear family, all with a warm smile. However, these stereotypes and gender roles fail to allow for individual differences, evolution over time, and the need for flexibility in ever-changing life circumstances.

One social expectation that does not consider the best interests of many women is the assumption that asking for help is a sign of weakness for mothers, partners, or individuals. Many women feel the pressure to maintain pride in the face of this misconception and thus struggle to ask for help, even when they desperately need it. It is important to remember that the “shame” associated with seeking assistance need not be more than an outdated illusion.

Liberate Yourself By Asking for Help

Long-held assumptions would suggest that being a strong, independent woman requires gracefully taking on challenges solo. But enlisting outside help when you need it can actually liberate you. This can also nurture your independence (for instance, by clearing time for self-care essential to stay physically, mentally, and emotionally strong).

There are many reasons why women hesitate to ask for help in their own lives — including fear of rejection, seeming incapable, being a burden, losing control (especially in one’s own household), and the belief that we shouldn’t need to ask for help in the first place. But you can experience even more benefits from releasing those fears and challenging oneself to seek support anyway.

[Related: 10 Things You’d Love To Never Do Again]

Tend to Your Needs First

First and foremost, follow your flight attendant’s pre-takeoff instructions: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. When you tend to your personal needs first, you can be a better partner, parent, friend, employee… you name it! Society expects women to nurture those close to them, sometimes at the expense of nurturing themselves. Especially during challenging or chaotic times, it’s essential to find time for yourself; but because there are only so many hours in a day, and because humans have only finite emotional energy, this often necessitates asking for support.

[Related: Supermom’s Secret: How Household Assistants Can Help Parents]

Seek Support in Personal and Professional Networks

So, whether in the workplace or at home, dare to seek support from those in your personal and professional networks. Start with friends, family members, and trusted colleagues, and consider enlisting professional help. Leveraging your available resources to achieve the best possible outcomes doesn’t mean relinquishing control, admitting defeat, or succumbing to weakness; it simply means knowing yourself (including your limitations) and taking the actions necessary for your success. It takes strength and self-awareness to acknowledge life’s challenges and accept a helping hand to overcome them.

Rather than covering up our vulnerabilities and asking for help as a last-ditch effort, let’s remember these words of wisdom:

“Humans are not designed to go through our days, careers or family life without constant feedback and support from others. We are social creatures and we are better together.”

[Related: Do Successful People Outsource? The Answer is Yes.]

Allow Pepper’s Personal Assistants to Help!

Couldn’t we all use a pair of helping hands in our daily lives? Fortunately, Pepper’s Personal Assistants are here to help! When you’re ready for some household management assistance, help with errands and chores, and customized personal support, contact us at Pepper’s Personal Assistants experience all you have to gain from accepting support.

Get Started with your household assistant ➔

 

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A True Game-Changer

“Having Mary as my personal assistant has been a game-changer. I don’t have to think about laundry or the cat litter—she handles all those daily tasks I’d rather not do. She’s proactive, assertive in all the right ways, and totally in control of every detail. I’d rate her a 5 out of 5, no question!”

Brian T.

Proactive, Reliable, Caring Support

“Sarah has been such a reliable support—always proactive, spotting things that need to be done before I even ask, and taking care of them. She has such a positive attitude and is constantly looking for ways to add value and make things easier. And I love how much happier and more spoiled my dogs are thanks to her care. I barely have to think about her day-to-day, and I mean that in the best way possible!”

K.W.

Exceptional Home Management

“Bernice is simply amazing—I just can’t say enough good things about her. She excels at physical tasks and knows my habits so well that she can anticipate my needs without me even saying anything. As a house manager, she’s exceptional; she takes care of all those little things that I wouldn’t even think of. Over time, we’ve developed a wonderful rhythm, and it’s such a relief to have someone who just knows what needs to be done and does it effortlessly.”

J.H.

Exceeding Expectations Every Day

“My PA has truly exceeded my expectations. I really enjoy coming home now because everything in my home is something I know and love. She’s helped me with tasks I didn’t even know where to begin, and her ability to do the background work and present options has been invaluable. She has made it possible for me to manage things without feeling overwhelmed, and it’s been a game changer for me!”

W.W.

Bringing Joy and Efficiency

“My PA Tess is proactive and handles everything beautifully, from small tasks that bring joy to big projects like planning trips. She balances recurring tasks with high-priority work, and everything gets done perfectly. I didn’t realize how much joy small things like making the bed could bring until Tess started doing them. She has truly made a difference in our home, bringing both efficiency and a level of organization and joy we didn’t realize we needed.”

K.H.

Support That Makes a Difference

“Having Missa as a PA has taken me from daily treading water to swimming to the shore. I’ve gone from never quite keeping up with things to actually having extra energy to do more. She has been a tremendous help, reducing my stress and allowing me to rest and recover. The support I receive is perfect; Missa is a 5 out of 5 in meeting all my needs. I’ve already recommended Pepper’s to a few friends because having extra help makes all the difference.”

Kathy M.

Back-to-School Unmatched Support

“Having Jay as my personal assistant has been fantastic. She helps me tackle projects that were just looming over my head and has built a great rapport with my teenage son. She’s helped my son pick out his back-to-school wardrobe and coached him through decisions — I couldn’t ask for better support. I sometimes think about when I could handle everything on my own, but now I can’t imagine doing it without Jay’s help.”

R.B.

PA to the Rescue

“I am very satisfied with my personal assistant. The biggest relief is knowing that when things get hectic with work my PA is there to help us from lighting on fire, especially when one of us is traveling.”

Ana V.

Dream PA Experience

“I am very satisfied; My PA has everything dialed in and the schedule works really well and is flexible when needed. Honestly: My PA and I click very well, I love it, it’s a dream!”

Jodi K.

Stress-Free Travel

“One of the massive benefits of having a PA is during travel disruptions. When flights are delayed, the kids are upset, and you’re stuck in customs, coming home to a stocked fridge and a prepared meal eliminates the need for a late-night milk run. You don’t realize the stress these tasks add until you have someone to handle them for you.”

A.S.

11/10!

“My PA is incredible—an 11 out of 10—really thoughtful, thorough, intuitive. She is professional but friendly; she has just been great. A couple of times because of things going on with her calendar, Kandis has been flexible—coming 15 minutes later to drop the dog off at puppy play. She has been really great.”

Libby

Thoughtful and Detail-Oriented

“My PA is a thoughtful and discerning assistant. She pays attention to details in our home and makes great suggestions for how to improve and optimize our lives. We trust her judgment, and she communicates proactively and frequently. She is always on-site on time and patient with my unpredictable schedule. We communicate frequently, but she’s also very efficient in how we communicate. Great work!”

Client

Super Happy!

“[I] really do think Kandis is setting the bar! Having a new person come into your house can go either way. [I’m] very grateful for the time and energy and people that Pepper’s has. It’s a big step; no suggestions around onboarding. [I’m] really happy that we were able to board Kandis quickly; super happy for the West Seattle support.”

Libby

Organizing Superhero

“My PA is really good at organizing; it’s one of her superpowers. Some of the simple reorganizing things that she has done have made a big impact. She organized all the cat stuff in the garage and took the initiative on her own. She’s bright and cheery—no moaning, whining. Very great.”

Emma

One of the Best Decisions I’ve Made

“I just wanted to take a few minutes to tell you how much I have appreciated working with all of the Pepper’s staff. My assistant is so generous and thoughtful — she brings value to every interaction. I can’t remember a time when I’ve hired anyone with such a professional and high standard of customer service. Working with you all has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in a very long time!”

Libby

10/10 for Sure!

“Missa is a 10/10 for sure! She has been wonderful, and we check in regularly. I’m comfortable communicating with her about questions or requests, and she’s always been very responsive and also seems comfortable checking in if she has any questions for me. [The] biggest help remains pet care and household chores support, plus the help with one-off projects that come up. Missa has all kinds of skills she brings, (e.g., she’s currently putting together a ‘cat highway’ for the living room rafters).”

Homeowner

My Quality of Life Has Improved

“I used to spend every weekend and every evening doing chores and running errands. Now, I’m able to spend the time that I need to on my business, and then I get to enjoy my home and my life and the precious unstructured time that I have. The truth is, my quality of life has improved by having a Pepper’s household assistant here.”

Libby

Takes Initiative

“I want to mention what a fantastic personal assistant Billie is to me. We were on vacation last week, and she managed my household and vendors flawlessly. I even had her redecorate my office, and I gave her very little direction other than just to make it nice and functional, and, my goodness, did she ever! She takes initiative in my house in so many other ways but does not overstep or overspend. To strike that balance is really something unique and special. I feel really lucky to have her.”

Anura

I’m Blown Away

“[I’m] blown away by how much better the house looks already :)”

Graham

Kind, Caring, and Proactive

“My PA is a very caring person. I was incredibly ill last year, and my PA connected the dots that the washing machine had a lot of mold and thought the black specs on my clothes were from that. On her own time, my PA sent me an article about the impact of mold/washing machines. It was so kind of her.”

Emma

Goes Above and Beyond

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Andrea