Why There Is No Shame in Asking for Help

Historically, men have been typecast as headstrong providers, known for refusing to ask for directions on the road, while women have been stereotyped as nurturing caregivers expected to shoulder the domestic burden of the nuclear family, all with a warm smile. However, these stereotypes and gender roles fail to allow for individual differences, evolution over time, and the need for flexibility in ever-changing life circumstances.

One social expectation that does not consider the best interests of many women is the assumption that asking for help is a sign of weakness for mothers, partners, or individuals. Many women feel the pressure to maintain pride in the face of this misconception and thus struggle to ask for help, even when they desperately need it. It is important to remember that the “shame” associated with seeking assistance need not be more than an outdated illusion.

Liberate Yourself By Asking for Help

Long-held assumptions would suggest that being a strong, independent woman requires gracefully taking on challenges solo. But enlisting outside help when you need it can actually liberate you. This can also nurture your independence (for instance, by clearing time for self-care essential to stay physically, mentally, and emotionally strong).

There are many reasons why women hesitate to ask for help in their own lives — including fear of rejection, seeming incapable, being a burden, losing control (especially in one’s own household), and the belief that we shouldn’t need to ask for help in the first place. But you can experience even more benefits from releasing those fears and challenging oneself to seek support anyway.

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Tend to Your Needs First

First and foremost, follow your flight attendant’s pre-takeoff instructions: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. When you tend to your personal needs first, you can be a better partner, parent, friend, employee… you name it! Society expects women to nurture those close to them, sometimes at the expense of nurturing themselves. Especially during challenging or chaotic times, it’s essential to find time for yourself; but because there are only so many hours in a day, and because humans have only finite emotional energy, this often necessitates asking for support.

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Seek Support in Personal and Professional Networks

So, whether in the workplace or at home, dare to seek support from those in your personal and professional networks. Start with friends, family members, and trusted colleagues, and consider enlisting professional help. Leveraging your available resources to achieve the best possible outcomes doesn’t mean relinquishing control, admitting defeat, or succumbing to weakness; it simply means knowing yourself (including your limitations) and taking the actions necessary for your success. It takes strength and self-awareness to acknowledge life’s challenges and accept a helping hand to overcome them.

Rather than covering up our vulnerabilities and asking for help as a last-ditch effort, let’s remember these words of wisdom:

“Humans are not designed to go through our days, careers or family life without constant feedback and support from others. We are social creatures and we are better together.”

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Allow Pepper’s Personal Assistants to Help!

Couldn’t we all use a pair of helping hands in our daily lives? Fortunately, Pepper’s Personal Assistants are here to help! When you’re ready for some household management assistance, help with errands and chores, and customized personal support,  experience all you have to gain from accepting support.

See What Other Parents Are Saying About Pepper’s Personal Assistants:

“The first day my personal assistant came, I was working all day in the office. When I came out, there were flowers, my home was tidy, and dinner was prepped in the fridge. I almost started crying! I have needed help for a long time, but I was thinking I could handle everything on my own. My Pepper’s PA has provided incredible value and impact on my life.”

—Libby