When it comes to home life and the relationships within, stress can be an incredibly damaging element. Our anxiety levels peak, our reactivity tends to rise in direct alignment. We can become snappy, short-tempered, and even aggressive, which is both confusing and upsetting for those around us. Left unchecked, this pattern can lead to long-term communication breakdown.
This is a 3-minute read and a wealth of compassion. If you don’t have the time, we understand, follow us on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter, and we will make sure you get the bullet points.
How We Operate
None of us operate at our very best when we feel under pressure. Realistically, stress is an unavoidable fact of home life that we cannot always prevent. However, there are many powerful ways to overcome its hold on our emotional balance to take better care of the relationships we care about most. Thankfully—this article is here to help!
Your natural stress response might be to avoid talking about what’s happening. However, the opposite is necessary if you want to stay connected in your household relationships. Whether it’s with a partner, family member, or roommate, an open line of conversation is necessary for all parties to feel safe and honest about their feelings. Without honesty, family bonds are threatened.
Make The Time
When home chores and family responsibilities mount up, our relationship focus can begin to dwindle. We lurch distractedly from one day to the next while telling ourselves we will eventually find time to talk. However, we must create specific times to connect to allow space to communicate effectively. Regular conversational check-ins will soon lead to ‘home-team success.
Talking about how stress makes you feel at a time when you feel calm can be enlightening for others. Set aside quality time to talk through how it feels when you’re overwhelmed. Discuss what would be helpful to you. Perhaps you prefer not to have solutions thrown at you. You might just need a listening ear. Or maybe physical reassurance, such as a hug, would be beneficial.
Communication is Teamwork
Communication is fundamental to teamwork—a family is a team, after all. Therefore, make the crucial effort to ensure you each feel heard. When you’re talking about a problem, particularly if it’s one within the home, make sure you each have space to talk. Resist the urge to interrupt when others are voicing their feelings. You might be surprised at what you learn about them.
Ensure that you allow space within your home routine or work schedule for great communication practices. Tackling a stress-loaded issue while you’re getting ready for work one morning is not going to lead to positive results. Most likely, you’ll lead your day feeling agitated and unclear about what’s happening. Choose regular time slots that suit you both to talk freely.
Put Away Distraction
There is nothing more deflating than opening up to someone before witnessing them glance down at a notification on their phone. This toxic habit can stop a great conversation dead in its tracks. Set aside those digital vices and turn to face one another. Grab some coffee to share and get comfortable. Calmer environments lead to better home communication.
Most importantly—acknowledge consciously that home communication may not always go to plan. Stress can sneak up on us. We might fail to initiate a difficult conversation at an appropriate time or say something we later regret. You are wonderfully human, and the process of relationship-building is ongoing. Be forgiving with yourself and others. You’ve got this!
As a business owner and mother of two, I’ve experienced my fair share of stressful events. Acknowledging this stress – as well as the lack of resources available to truly help manage it – led me to start Pepper’s Personal Assistantseight years ago.
When a major life event occurs, people often provide a singular idea to help. “Hire a cleaning person,” they say, or, “order your groceries online.” These are valid ideas, but often don’t provide the type of solution that brings real relief. Stressful times call for a resource who can find and manage the housecleaner, as well as other home maintenance providers (e.g., gardener, handyman). They also call for someone who can go the extra mile – not just buying the groceries but also prepping meals and cleaning up. Our team of personal assistants manages these tasks for clients every day.
Here’s a list of the most stressful events where we’ve come in to assist clients. Are you or those in your network experiencing any of these? The right level of support can make a difference – here’s how:
Moving – We all know this is a difficult process, regardless of the distance between your old and new homes. It’s especially tough if the new home is in an area where you don’t have a network of family and friends. We help clients by screening moving companies; managing day-of-move; and organizing the sale and donation of unneeded items. Our assistants also assist clients who are purchasing or selling vacation homes.
Family Changes – Marriage, a new baby, divorce, and death all usher in major changes in the home that require adjustment and resources. Two additional changes in 2020 have increased the burden on parents: Having the entire family at home all day as we work/learn remotely during the pandemic, and making space for adult children who return to the nest. According to Pew Research, the majority of young adults – 52 percent – now live with their parents, an increase of 5 points this year. Our assistants organize workspaces; source desks and other furniture; and handle extra meal prep and chores for these full households.
Injury and Illness – Recovering from a health issue can be easier with the right help. Our assistants prepare healthy meals, run errands, and can arrange the home so it’s easier to manage. The team follows strict Covid-19 protocols for safety and cleanliness.
New Career – Landing a new job is an exciting change, but it often means devoting more time to work in the first few months so you can get acclimated and make an impact. Having a personal assistant handle daily household tasks means you can focus on your career without distractions. It also means that your free time is just that: You can spend it on hobbies, with loved ones, or whatever else you’d like, instead of tracking a long to-do list of chores.
Travel – It’s easy to worry about your home while you’re away, and think about all the things that need attention. Your personal assistant can line up and supervise contractors for a variety of projects (e.g., painters, repairmen), as well as tidy your home and have a meal ready for when you return. Recently, we helped a client by sending items they forgot to pack via overnight delivery and clearing the rain and debris that blocked their outdoor security cameras.
Holiday Season – Assistants can handle gift shopping, mailing, and decorating tasks. We recently helped a client with holiday cards – from buying outfits for each family member to selecting the photographer, scheduling the shoot, and ordering the cards. All they had to do was show up for the picture!
Pepper’s Personal Assistants is on standby to help you out and relieve stress in your life. Book your consult call today to find out how we can help you in this busy season.
Many great business leaders share a common belief: Employees are the main contributor to an organization’s success. These leaders know that when they hire great people and treat them well, these employees will provide clients with an excellent experience, and help the business thrive.
In 2012, I started Pepper’s Personal Assistants, with this same approach. I focused on building a culture of “togetherness.” While our assistants work directly in client homes, we hold in-person meetings and social events throughout the year to continue building on our solid culture. There’s certain energy we gain from these face-to-face gatherings, and it reminds us that we’re all part of one team that likes to share successes, solve problems, support one another, and have fun.
Covid-19 forced us to cancel these meetings and shift to Zoom and other online forums. We truly miss connecting with each other in person. Our business faced many challenges, as our assistants were unable to perform work within client homes for nearly three months. As we worked to create a path forward for our team and our clients, we continued to focus on our core approach. Our employees needed support and not just at work, but for the uncertainties, they were facing in their personal lives as well.
Show grace – This is an unprecedented time, and employees are facing a number of different fears and uncertainties – for their own emotional and physical health and that of their families; stress from their children’s online learning; and isolation for those living alone or facing loss. Focus on supporting each employee as a whole person, not just a worker. Be patient and kind, as you may be the only source of stability and understanding in their lives right now.
Continue offering pay and benefits – During the time when we could not visit client homes, we were fortunate to be able to continue paying our employees and offering benefits, thanks to many of our clients generously continuing with reduced packages. This helped alleviate worries about financial stability during the shutdown. Team members were grateful and wanted to be productive during this time. We scheduled a number of online training sessions so they could build their skill sets in different areas. Our team also helped clients with tasks remotely, like doing online research and preparing children for remote learning.
Get in front of issues – Before the governor issued shutdown orders, we were already creating a plan and talking with employees and clients. We did the same when we were allowed back into client homes with safety protocols. Being transparent with my team is a central part of how I manage the business. Sharing challenges and approaches also means I’m open to the team’s input, ideas and support, all of which are integral to success as we move forward.
Provide a sense of purpose – Give team members projects that will stretch their skills and enable them to contribute in a meaningful way. One of our household managers, for example, is an excellent cook and gave our team a Zoom training on cooking techniques during the shutdown. Everyone loved it and learned from it. This employee gained new skills in planning and presenting a training to the team. She’s also now the “go-to” expert for questions on recipes and meal prep.
Hold meetings that aren’t focused on work – We’ve held Zoom meetings focused on self-care, with each employee offering a tip to their colleagues. I call employees regularly without an agenda, just to check in and ask how they’re doing and how I can support them. I want my team to know that I genuinely care and want to help them through this time, even if it’s just to listen or provide some encouragement.
This continues to be a challenging environment, but I’m proud of how our team continues to work through uncertainty and support one another. Communicating frequently, being transparent and treating your employees as people first will help keep your culture strong. Investing in your team will bring huge benefits: Once the pandemic is behind us, you’re likely to have a stronger and more cohesive team than ever before.
We’re weeks into autumn and “back-to-school” looks a little different this year with remote learning due to the pandemic. This means if you or your partner stay home during the day, the time you might typically use to tidy up around the house, get through errands, and prep meals has been replaced with assisting your child with their virtual learning.
Many parents may even be working from home as well, turning the household into a multi-purpose building — a school, an office, a restaurant, and a place to (hopefully) get some sleep all in one.
During this stressful time, managing the household tasks can fall to the bottom of your list. It’s impossible to do it all right now. This is why making the decision to outsource your to-do list can bring much needed relief and a feeling of calm to your household.
Here’s what hiring a personal assistant can do for you, so that you can focus on your career, assist with remote learning, and spend quality time with your family.
Grocery Shopping
After a long day troubleshooting Zoom calls and helping with homework, the last thing you want to face is an empty refrigerator. Hiring a personal assistant to help order groceries or go out and pick up healthy ingredients for dinner can help reduce your stress at the end of a long day.
Meal Planning and Prep
In addition to grocery shopping, a personal assistant can go one step further by taking over meal planning and prep throughout the week. Making sure your family is eating healthy can be difficult when you and your partner are home all day alternating between working and supporting your child through the remote learning process. When your typical schedule is upended, having someone to plan out nutritional dinners and even prep easy-to-grab lunches can take a load off of your shoulders.
Even though we aren’t going out socially as much, and your child doesn’t have to wear a school uniform while remote learning, it doesn’t mean we should be recycling the same pair of sweatpants and t-shirts every couple of days. Finding time to wash, dry, fold, and iron clothes can seem impossible. We can get it done from start to finish so you can feel put-together no matter what the day brings.
Bill Paying
If you or your partner are already staring at a screen all day between working from home and helping your kids with virtual school, staying on the internet longer to organize and pay bills is going to be the last thing you want to do. A personal assistant can help you set up payment automation, and organize your finances so you have one less thing on your list.
Even before the pandemic scrambled everyone’s schedules, finding time to hit the stores, return products, or exchange purchases proved difficult — especially if you’re a working parent. Hiring a personal assistant to run these errands for you can free up precious free time, help you avoid having to leave the house, and shorten your to-do list.
How Pepper’s Personal Assistants Can Help
If you or your partner are currently at home with your kids and need more support when it comes to assisting with your child’s remote learning, working from home, and managing your household, Pepper’s Personal Assistants is ready to help.
Our Personal Assistant package will pair you with a dedicated personal assistant to help out 12-40 hours per week, tackling the aforementioned tasks and more, including pet care, home maintenance management, and scheduling.
Just need a little boost to help you keep organized? Pepper’sTask Management packagematches you with a personal assistant that will come cross off things on your to-do list for 5 hours per week.
Call us at 206-228-5768, or send us a message today for a free consultation to see if Pepper’s Personal Assistants is the right fit and can help support your needs.
One of my newer clients, Leslie*, reached out to me after realizing she had problems getting things done at home. The biggest obstacle was not one single project, but rather the inability to make any headway on her to-do list.
Leslie had resigned from a demanding job and arranged to start at her new company in three months. Taking a break, she figured, would give her plenty of opportunities to tackle a long list of household projects, and spend quality time with her children. But after 10 weeks off, Leslie hadn’t made a dent in the list. Additionally, routine tasks like laundry, errands and meal prep were starting to pile up. She was frustrated she hadn’t accomplished more while she had time off to do so.
Many of us are familiar with the terms “decision paralysis” or “analysis paralysis” – being unable to make a choice between two or more options, sometimes leading one to choose an entirely different option, or do nothing at all. This problem is commonly discussed in business circles – overthinking and delays cost firms time and money – but it’s also relevant at home.
Leslie is by no means alone. I see this frequently in my business, Pepper’s Personal Assistants, and it’s become more common in recent months.
Fear about making the wrong decision often stands in our way. So can feelings of being overwhelmed and exhausted. Covid-19 and other distressing events of 2020 have added multiple layers of stress and uncertainty to our lives. All of this impacts the brain, according to this recent CNN article, and causes it to slow decision making. Even the smartest and most accomplished minds are not immune: Dr. Sanjay Gupta noted that simple decisions, like choosing a tie or what to eat for lunch, were not so easy for him these days.
At Pepper’s, we have four tips that can help you deal with decision paralysis:
Make a list – Try to keep one list using one tool. Some people keep everything on their phones. Others use a Trello board or paper notebook. And some write each task on a separate sticky note. Use whatever option is best for you.
Set a timer – Keep tasks manageable by setting a timer. If you’ve got mountains of paperwork, for instance, devote 20 minutes every couple of days to sorting a pile and stop when the timer beeps. Seeing progress – even in small increments – can help keep you motivated. Schedule these small blocks on your calendar just like you would for a meeting.
Talk it out – Saying things out loud – what’s overwhelming, what’s on your to-do list, and why you’re feeling buried – helps in a number of ways. Verbalizing these issues can help determine what’s most important and set priorities. You can also gain clarity on what can be delegated vs. what you should do yourself. Finally, talking about your projects can decrease your overall stress level about them, especially when you have the right sounding board. In eight years of business, we’ve counseled many people on the best ways to tackle what’s in front of them and how we can help. Our team often takes on the projects they dislike the most, which lifts a heavy burden from their minds.
Change your scenery – If working in one area in your house becomes overwhelming, switch to another room for a while. Going outside (e.g., for a 10-minute walk or to pick up your favorite drink from a nearby coffee shop) can help shift your mindset.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to fixing decision paralysis or eliminating it altogether. But the steps above can help you make some progress. Know that you’re not alone in facing this issue. Resources are available to help you prioritize, delegate, and conquer your to-do list.
The first day of school has come and gone, and it looks very different for students and parents. In the Seattle area, we have shifted to remote learning for the foreseeable future. Working parents are trying to tackle all of the “to-dos” and prepare for the changes ahead. I wouldn’t describe them as “being busy” with these tasks. Instead, they’re overwhelmed, stressed out, and uncertain how they’re going to accomplish it all – managing school at home, working full-time, and running a household.
As a working mom of two boys, the one piece of advice I have for working parents with children at home is this: Delegate what you can. There are many routine tasks that can be handled by someone else, and doing so will free up time for you to focus on what’s most important. Think about it: how much time would you get back in your day if someone else ran errands, did laundry, took the dog to the vet, and prepared meals? By delegating these tasks, you give yourself more quality time for your family and career.
I founded Pepper’s Personal Assistants to help busy families keep their households running smoothly. We provide each client with an assistant and work together to prioritize projects to complete based on the client’s individual needs. Our team follows strict protocols for health, safety, and cleanliness while working in each home.
Delegating tasks that you’ve always done may feel awkward at first. Some people feel that they “should” do certain chores or even are embarrassed to seek out help. I highly recommend that you put these feelings to one side. Parents are facing more demands on their time than ever before. Alleviating some of these pressures is essential to your well-being.
Here are a few ideas on what you can delegate, based on the trends we’re seeing with clients right now.
Organizing workspaces – With parents and children at home during the day, we’re helping create comfortable workspaces for everyone in the home. Some clients were not able to find desks in the area, as many stores quickly ran out. Our assistants have been checking for inventory in person and online, placing orders, and assembling furniture. In some cases, they’ve gotten creative and put together makeshift desks using items already in the house.
Buying school supplies – Although the list is shorter with remote schooling, teachers sometimes make last-minute requests for additional items. An assistant can do this errand or place an order for home delivery.
Reorganizing and restocking pantries – As they restock the kitchen, assistants can also purchase items needed for flu season – like over-the-counter remedies, canned soups, crackers, and juices. This is an important task, as people won’t be able to make a grocery trip if they are sick or sharing a house with someone who is. In addition to stocking up on supplies, assistants can prepare meals for the family, saving time on shopping, cooking, and cleaning up.
Completing school paperwork – Schools and teachers often have multiple forms to fill out for each student. Let an assistant organize and pre-fill these for you, so you can just sign and submit.
Helping to source other “helpers” – Our assistants help find nannies, tutors, babysitters, and others. They post ads, sort resumes, and conduct first interviews, passing along the best candidates to clients.
Preparing for the time when kids return to campus – Although we don’t know when students will be allowed to return, some parents are being proactive. Our assistants are purchasing school clothes, shoes, and backpacks, as well as scheduling routine physicals and vaccinations on their clients’ behalf.
It’s never too late to find a resource and move some household work off your plate. In doing so, you’ll be able to focus more time and energy on what’s most important in the weeks ahead.
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